Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Parody Eclisped by Reality

I about gagged with laughter recently when I attended F & T meeting with my wife. Some COB employee was baring his testimony when he kind of slipped and announced that the church is thinking of building a temple on a cruise ship. (I think its jsut one of those rumers that gets started and then gets legs) The purpose is to take the temple to the people of the pacific islands.

It was all I could do to keep from busting a gut...Imagine Capt Stubing AKA Temple Captain... all ready dressed in his white uniform and white captains hat putting on his green apron to officiate an endowment ceremony while Yeoman Gopher goes around and give everyone their signs and tokens. The Black Bartender, Isaac (He can go on board now you know)...could hand out tropical drinks with little “Angle Moroni’s” stuck on the top of tiny umbrellas to remind the mind of the Provo the patrons enter the Celestial “Cabin”. Cruse Director Julie McCoy...could direct the geriatric throngs in shuffleboard and scripture chases as they wait to enter the endowment “cabins“....

All the while in the back ground could be heard playing on the ship organ ... the tune....

Love, exciting and new,Come aboard.
We're endowing you.
Love, no more touching aloud.
Bow your head, as your instructed to.

The Love Boat ... Endowments for everyone.
The Love Boat ... Pay, Lay Ale-ings have just begun.

Set a course for Indenture,Your mind on Obedience.
Love .. Once endowed you’re ours till the end...
Fake a Smile .. Anti-Depressants Depend.

It's Looooove!Welcome aboard - It's Looooove!


Cynthia E. Bagley said...

Funny... ;-)

The Sinister Porpoise said...

Hey, that may actually increase temple attendance.

Sister Mary Lisa said...

Damn, but you're funny. I will start paying my tithing right now to earn the right to try out this newfangled love boat temple thing.

You made me laugh out loud while I was eating, not good.

:) Thanks for the laugh.


Anonymous said...

Great to read your new posts, you were my inspiration for starting my blog. In fact I am planning a trip to the VC here in Mesa to see the JS movie. Of course I plan on stopping in at the Mexican restaurant two blocks away for a couple of Coronas before hand.

Simeon's Peep Stone said...

I read this post when you first posted it and wanted to return and report. I told my TBM wife about it and she thought it made a lot of sense. I was like, what the fuck! I said that in my mind of course. Moronism is a Mental Disorder.

Anonymous said...

I snorted milk thru my nose!!! :)