It totally crushed me, when I started down this road of discovery, to learn that the Mormon Church had lied, covered up and withheld pertinent, essential information from me to come to an understanding of its truth claims.
I remember sitting in my car one day crying uncontrollably as this reality sunk in. I had given my life to an organization that had made promises to my family and me, I had made real sacrifices in both time talents and money for the church and these bastards didn’t have the moral dignity to tell me the truth?
I had a very difficult time wrapping my brain around this reality…why would they lie to me? I went through long periods of depression… revisiting my conclusions over and over, requestioning them still again and again. Yet each time that I have…I have come back to the conclusion that the leaders of the LDS church have been in a certifiable conspiracy to restrict information and keep it from the general church membership. I can only assume that they feel they have some noble purpose or cause that they feel is more important then my right to know the truth. They must believe they know what is better for me than I do.
They believe their lies are justified because, in their opinions, the church does so many positive things for individuals and families.
Who the fuck do they think they are to use me as a rat in their noble maze? Their lies have exposed my family to untold pain and trauma. And who knows if we’ll have the ability to survive it…all because Joseph lied about his experiences and those who followed him chose to carry on the fraud.
When I discovered the lies about the foundational claims of Mormonism, that church leaders had massaged facts, whitewashed historical events, doctored reality to support their desires to manipulate church membership to their so called higher purpose...it nearly killed me.
What gives them the right to fuck with my life! To make promises to me of an eternal family life ... a promise that they will never have to deliver on. What gives them the right to manipulate reality and restrict our lives, to take our hard earned money…so that their so called higher purposes can be fulfilled.
NO Organization has the moral right to take away a person's moral agency by depriving them of information they need to utilize that agency - and yet that is exactly what the Mormon Church does...They literally broke my heart!