Is that all there is? Have I now been exposed to all of Mormonism's problems? Are there no more secrets?
When I first dared to question my faith and venture down this path of critical examination... I was constantly being confronted with revelation after shocking revelation of the cover-up, lies and whitewashing the Mormon Church had perpetrated on its own membership.I remember the disgusting disbelief I experienced as I first discovered the bizarre stories of Joseph‘s glass looking and his head in a hat translation process. I am amazed that through 4 years of seminary and three years of Institute I was never exposed to “Kinderhook” and “Zelph“.
I remember how sick I felt upon learning that there were “other” accounts of the first vision. That there was an island Comoros whose capital was Moroni, that Joseph Sr. had had Lehi’s same dream prior to the writing of the Book of Mormon, That Joseph had married other men’s wife's, missions to the men in the moon, Joseph’s alcohol consumption etc etc etc. I still shake my head in amazement that I had never been exposed to these things or that I had faithfully refrained from an exploration of these difficult matters.
Each day brought a new shocking discovery greater than the day before, the accumulation of which ultimately led to the complete collapse of my faith in Mormonism and the resulting conclusion that the church was not what it claimed to be. That time of discovery, as painful as it was, was also very exhilarating. I felt like a man who finally awakes from a life long coma and experiences reality for the very first time in his life. Each new discovery slowly and sometimes painfully dispelling the darkness... Through this process I lost the faith of my youth. I stepped through a threshold, into a new understanding of life and reality; old understandings were discarded as I underwent this cataclysmic paradigm shift in my life.
So is there no more discovery to be made? Have I reached the bottom of the rotten barrel of Mormonism? Is there nothing more that can shock me?I want to be surprised... but the innocence is gone... and my discoveries now lay in other areas and realms...