Tuesday, May 20, 2008

The Day I told the Stake President to Kiss my A$$

Several years ago I received a phone call from the stake executive secretary in the area in which I live. I had been excommunicated maybe 2 years earlier and the new stake president wanted to have me come into his office for an update on where I currently stood with respect to the church. At first I told the Ex Sec that I had no desire to meet the new SP and hung up the phone. But upon further reflection I thought ,what the hell, so I called the Ex Sec back apologized for my curtness and set up an appointment to meet with the SP in his church office (to me his office held no special power or meaning other than a convenient place to meet) I felt he needed to KNOW exactly where I stood with respect to his church.

At the appointed time I arrived in my shorts , tee shirt and flip flops for our meeting. He greeted me warmly (he was a good guy in his pre-SP life). He offered to give an opening prayer to which I responded with “whatever floats your boat…but I won’t be participating”. After his prayer, he started to express his great love and respect for me and asked what my current views of the church were today.

I then went into a 30+ minute discourse of how I no longer viewed the church as being anything other than a man made institution with only imaginary make believe super human powers that he affectionately referrers to as priesthood powers. That it’s foundational scripture, The Book of Mormon, was nothing more than a fictional fairytale. That its so called prophets were merely men and it claims of holding a monopoly on truth was a false claim.

He was somewhat surprised that I had fallen into such a state of complete apostasy and questioned my statement on Mormon priesthood being anything other than what it claims to be. Bad move on his part.

I sat forward in my chair, looked him in the eye, raised my arm to the square and said. “John (not his real name) I am so sure that your so-called Mormon priesthood is nothing more than phony Mormon magical non-sense that I want you right here and now to raise your arm to the square like this and command me with all the super human mormon priesthood you can muster and command me in the name of Jesus Christ to become deaf and dumb just like the fictional Alma did to the fictional Korihor in your Book of Mormon.

As he sat there completely dumb founded I said... "Come on Do it”, then raising my voice ever so slightly I repeated. “Do it!”.

He just sat there looking like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming semi-tractor-trailer with his mouth wide open. He was obviosly not used to having anyone question his authority.

I then gave him my "testimony" that Mormonism was a fraud, that he was a smart man and could work his way out of it as well if he really wanted to know the truth. I told him that each and every time he bore testimony stating emphatically that he KNEW the church was true he was lying…he admitted that he believed rather than KNEW…but that it was a tradition in the church to express” knowledge” rather than belief and saw nothing wrong with continuing to do so. I reiterated my statement that it was dishonest to claim as knowledge something he had just told me he did not in fact know. He seemed unfazed with my argument.

We parted with a handshake and the knowledge that he was a product of Mormonism and would remain so…and that he no longer had ANY power or authority over me. Some days are better than others…and on this day it was good to be a Mormon apostate.

Oh one more thing...all future posts to this blog may be posted in brail and grunts...


Just kidding :-)

One more thought...knowing that there are many TBM's who visit my blog...PPPPLLLLEEEAAASSSEEEE....I don't want to hear all the crap on what an asshole I was that day (granted I was very direct) but that day was all about taking back my power from the Mormon church and letting them know that no longer could they ever feel that they had any power or authority over me.

I set boundaries with the church letting them know that I would no longer be at their beck and call...that in the future, if this SP wanted to meet with me He would have to call me himself rather than have his lacky call and it would be at a location of my choice and the subject of all future meetings would be of my choosing. I never head from him since.


Anonymous said...

Craig..I LOVE YOUR STORY! You seem really stright up so I am going to be straight up...I was a SRAIGHT SKEPTIC and I see now for good reason. I have studied with 6 missionaries now (who want me to meet with the president), a Mormon family in TN that I love dearly with 34 immediate family members and more scattered about around the world...SERIOUS MORMONS, a life-long Muslim, Baptist, Catholic, Jehovah's Witnesses, and Hindu (whoa). I have never been religious and always neutral until I felt the same URGE for truth and explanation for things. Finding truth takes TIME and lots of it. I first began with a humble prayer and said that I was done trying to make myself happy and I just wanted God to show me the truth because I just wanted to do his will even if it means changing things dramatically and that I knew nothing was more important. (keep in mind I had never been to church or read the bible). Within 2 hours I had a VERY keen insight when I opened the bible to read it - not about exact details but about the theme, then it was all over...I couldnt stop, it was like a glass bottom boat after staring at crashing waves forever. I have also never been a reader or studier but I have been studying in depth the BOM, Quran, The Hebrew and Greek original scrolls and tenses/implications/punctuation, grammar in those languages in the Strong's comprehensive Bible concordance. Basically,it is true that there is one truth and the bible says "Few are the ones finding it" which mean it requires honest effort involving an in depth search that is only possible when initiated by an honest heart and alignment with God's love of justice that the few last ones on earth are open to. I feel like people crave lies sometimes...anyway, NO ONE is responsible for anyone else to God except yourself. No pastor, priest, deacon, bishop, pope, nun, monk, etc. can refute the truth because the DON'T KNOW IT - which is utterly amazing to me since they mislead the entire world. The bible, which tells us that it is like refined gold and silver unchangable- lasting throughout the harshest elements through time since it is Gods book - (I think he can do that...without the aid of a non-Christian sorcery stone -HA) Jesus taught from the bible and when he got here..he didnt say it was all wrong and needed to be rewritten, so why the liberty from JS or Mohammed since their differences in teachings are not scriptural teachings? I ask my missionaries so many questions and I pray to silence Satan's nonsense before each session and I PROMISE - they have not been able to answer not ONE of my partially filled notebooks of questions for them - because the are far from having TRUTH. One day, the mother of all the family took me to the basement (of their mansion) in amazement and said, "I don't know why we can't speak or answer your questions, lets get the president". I;m sure they are offended by my simple reasonable questions about their religion since I am a single never married mother of a biracial child with a crazy haircut and rocky life. I even asked them, where do I fit in in the LDS church - husband/family and no intentions on having more, Jesus wasn't partial nor would his organization ever let that feeling of covetessness of family and partiality enter his followers hearts. Jesus never taught that families would be "sealed" or happy for that matter...he said they would be divided and that he didnt come to earth to make peace. Even some of Jesus' brothers and sisters were not his followers...quite the opposite of what Mormons teach. Okay, sorry for the novel, I guess what I wanted to express the most is that I am humble and able/willing to be taught, but gold plates and a book that provides me no spiritual food or gives me anything to live by besides a warm fuzzy story? True Prophets all have one thing in common - they come to warn us of something that is coming. The bible says that the prophets stopped at John - because the bible is complete and nothing has exceeded the importance of needing to prophesy about Jesus - which is what John did through Revelation - the END. The Quaran restates the bible, the BOM restates basic principles of the bible and rewrites the bible according to fitting JS unreasonable story, all other bibles do try to make sense of it so I cant blame them, BUT I wanted the SCROLLS...I had to see for myself, so I did. I want to tell you that JW are SOOO persecuted for NO reason and that nothing I have learned from their studies have ever been able to be refuted. The truth is so reasonable and so simple if you are a person who is willing to find it. Even a child can understand it, but better yet, we dont choose the truth..Jesus said true seekers are chosen by Him - he knows we err, he knows what we like, we dont have to try to be perfect. There are SOOO many people at the Kingdom Hall I attended from all kinds of churches even clergymen - and they are regular people who desire to be held accountable to God. God's name is Jehovah, the scrolls say it plain as day and it is in any reference book that you would want to look at. It only takes scratching the surface to find the truth and a loving heart. Only Jehovah God reads hearts and he doesnt make mistakes. After all my debunking efforts, I have to admit, I am being baptized in June to become a door knocker and I could not be more excited. The phrase the truth will set you free means something totally different to me now - the bible is so different from what the world decribes and it says no tithing- receive free give free. I will provide you with as many books containing true spiritual food as you could ever want - not just feel good garbage that is not scripturally based - and I am serious. You can call me every day with whatever question you would ever want honestly answered and I would quit my job to go teach even one interested person...no pressure - just true free info/books and insight to REAL. I pray you answer me because nothing brings me greater joy than sanctifying Jehovah's name to real people and teaching others about Him and how loving and tender He really is. Jehovah himself says, "test me out" and he promises we wont be sorry. agape love, Candi 615-598-5411

Cr@ig said...


I hesitated posting your epistle...but then decided what the hell...I think people who read my blog should read what you've posted. It a great example of "cult-think".

I too take you at your word that you are a staight skeptic and I urge you to be very skeptical of JW's. It, like Mormonism, is just another version of a controling religious cult seeking to hold power and control over you.

Please read some of the aternative views from knowledgable former members of the JW's that are available on the web...if you are really seeking truth you will not be afraid to read what they have to say about the religion you have chosen to become a member of.

Best of Luck